DeAnne Smith’s Questionable at Best

One question. One guest. One interesting (and intimate) conversation. Brought to you by world-famous comedian and deep thinker DeAnne Smith.

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#11 • Philippa Klein

September 04, 2013

This week’s question: Does being in a relationship suck?

This week’s quote:  “Most of us think that if our partner saw the flawed, vulnerable, scared little person we are on the inside that they would reject us completely.”

I get a smart and compassionate counseling therapist to tell me everything she knows about relationships…in less than half an hour.

Oh! And if you want to check out her website and possibly score some of that sweet therapy for yourself, go to

17 Responses

  1. Alon Azimov says:

    The starvation economy view of love was really funny.

  2. Britt says:

    This was my favorite episode by far. Please bring Philippa back again and again.

    I love your podcast, DeAnne! I listen it to it when I clean and do laundry…which makes me the quirky person smiling/laughing sporadically and sorting clothes in the laundry room…but someone at the machine next to me said I had a nice, happy laugh. 😀 Woot to meeting your nice neighbor over laughing at podcasts!

    • philippa says:

      If listening to me and DeAnne helped you smile and connect than all I can say is mission accomplished! Thank you for the encouragement. It put a smile on my face knowing it put a smile on your face…

  3. Britt says:

    *I listen to it…

    I hate finding errors after I press post. Grrrr….

  4. DeAnne Smith says:

    glad you liked it, britt! i definitely want to have philippa back. what question should i ask her next time?

    • lotsofsandwichfeelings says:

      Open(ish) relationships – how to navigate them, how to manage jealousy, … also anything about female bisexuality in this context would be relevant to my interests.

      Also Robby Hoffman? Can she be back and talk about whatever she wants because she is hilarious and I am very attracted to her accent 🙂

  5. sublu says:

    Seeing as you’re so good at getting girlfriends, Deanne, could you do an episode along the lines of “How to flirt effectively and win lovers?” Help a relationship-less sister out! I’ll trade some pursuer/withdrawer mind games for regular cuddles, hand holding, and a general partner in crime. Singledom can be equally awesome…but it’s got a pretty short expiry date.

  6. Joana says:

    I absolutely loved this podcast. Is Philippa’s article (monograph?) about monogamy available somewhere? 🙂

    • Philippa says:

      Hi there.
      No that piece of research isn’t online I am afraid. However I have intentions on writing a less academic article and posting it on my website in the coming weeks 🙂 and I am do happy you enjoyed the interview

  7. DeAnne Smith says:

    Hmm..I’ll ask her…

    • J says:

      Thanks Deanne ! I’m a big fan of [email protected] I love your work ! Looking forward to the next & the one after that 🙂 I’d love to see this project on video some day (I’m here if you need a wonderful editor!) cheers!

  8. Ken says:

    Excellent podcast, I really enjoyed it. At the end, you were puzzling over why people in the past wouldn’t talk about or consider mutually consensual polygamy or open relationships that could still be good, loving and meaningful. If you look at human history over thousands of years, as Philippa mentioned, relationships like this have always existed, but until very recently, we have not had birth control or the technology to prevent and treat sexually transmitted diseases. So for many people, casual sexual relationships could easily get much more complicated than you bargained for. For the gay and lesbian community, these issues have not been quite as big a deal (pre-AIDS of course), which might help explain why polygamous and open sexual relationships are more commonly found there. I think that if birth control STD-control technology had existed for the last few hundred years, open and polygamous sexual relationships would likely be much more common among straight people. Straight relationships just haven’t quite caught up yet.

    I think the same factors explain monogamy. For most of human history, monogamy was primarily driven by the need to ensure that ‘providers’ (typically males) didn’t just dash off and leave the women they impregnated, but stuck around long enough to provide protection and food for the first while. Here again, I think birth control, modern technologies and women’s equality have pretty much negated the original reasons why people married. It was all about baby making. Here is a prediction: marriages will eventually fade away completely in sufficiently advanced. If you could zip into the future by a few hundred years, people might see the idea of marriage as a very strange and quaint thing people did long ago, but really stopped making sense and became rather pointless.

    I love your show. Always fun, interesting, informative and entertaining.

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